


Ribbon Day

by Kaenith



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords
Genre: Asexuality, I swear it ends well!, Illustrated, Internalized Acephobia, M/M, Pining, Ribbon Day, Valentine's Day, that makes it sound like a much sadder story than it actually is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 04:17:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10071143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaenith/pseuds/Kaenith
Summary: When Shadow is introduced to a Hyrulean holiday celebrating different kinds of relationships, he starts to question whether his feelings for Vio are really as platonic as he has believed them to be for the past two years. But even if he lets himself admit that it’s romantic love, he can’t escape the feeling that he’s getting it wrong somehow. That he’s missing some crucial piece.Who would expect a shadow-demon to be able to love properly, anyway?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hyrule Holiday Headcanon: Ribbon Day](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/270365) by alinkbetweenportraits. 



> Cross-posted from my Tumblr: http://kaenith.tumblr.com/post/157848652658/

Wintertime, in Shadow’s opinion, was for sleeping in late. Of course, in his opinion most of the year was for sleeping in late, but at least in the colder months he had an excuse. The dreary grey days just lent themselves to such behavior.

But when he shuffled out of his bedroom, yawning, he found the living space he shared with the other four Links was anything _but_ grey and dreary. Brightly-colored ribbons and scraps of paper adorned the walls and littered the table. Some had even fallen off onto the floor. Red sat at the center of it all, a smudge of ink on his chin as he folded an envelope.

Only a small corner of the table remained clear of craft debris, occupied instead by Vio and a stack of books. Vio had a pen out, writing something on note paper, but he looked up and put it aside as Shadow entered the room.

“Morning,” Vio greeted him, the corner of his lips twitching with restrained amusement.

“Debatably,” Shadow replied, finishing the joke with a smirk. He picked up one of the pieces of ribbon from the table. “What’s with all this?”

Red gasped, and Shadow could swear his eyes actually sparkled. “I forgot you weren’t in Hyrule last winter! This will be your first Ribbon Day, won’t it?”

“You have an entire holiday to celebrate _ribbons_?”

That sent Red into a fit of giggles, so Vio answered for him. “It’s symbolic. Ribbon Day is about celebrating the relationships that connect us to one another. People exchange ribbons of different colors to represent how they feel – yellow for friends, green for business partners, blue for family, or for close bonds that are _like_ family, and so on.”

“It’s a great big festival!” Red bounced in his seat with excitement. “It’s two days from today. There’s gonna be a feast, and dancing, and games, and everyone wears the ribbons they’ve received! Here, Vio, did you want to tie your own ribbon on this?” He handed Vio the envelope he’d been working on, which already had three yellow ribbons wrapped around it. Vio picked up another and began weaving it amongst the others.

“What’s that?” Shadow asked.

“Oh, that’s for Erune!” Red frowned, thoughtful. “I guess you didn’t meet her, did you? She’s a girl we met at the Blue Maiden’s village. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to send her a ribbon, too…?”

Shadow snort-laughed. “Is there a color that symbolizes ‘sorry for sending monsters to kidnap you and your friends and plunge your town into chaos’?”

“Probably not,” Red conceded. Then his expression turned mischievous. “Though I _did_ ask Blue if he wanted to send her a red ribbon instead of yellow.”

“And you got hit upside the head for the trouble,” Vio reminded him.

“I think I’m missing something,” said Shadow.

“Red ribbons are for romantic love.” Red made his hands into a heart shape, as if to demonstrate.

“I’ve told you about Erune before,” Vio said to Shadow. “She’s the one Blue, Green, and Red _all_ developed ridiculous crushes on.” He stressed the word “all” with a teasing tone and a pointed look at Red. “And yet somehow, it seems _you’re_ not including a red ribbon of your own, Red.”

“Aww, c’mon.” Red’s ribbon may have been yellow, but his face had started to turn pink. “It was just a silly crush, like you said. I got over it ages ago!”

A growl from Shadow’s stomach interrupted the conversation. “Ugh. I’m guessing I missed breakfast, didn’t I?”

“Yep.” Red gave him an apologetic shrug. “You could go see if there are any leftovers in the kitchen?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Vio said. “Arcy and the other chefs are still pretty afraid of you.”

Shadow grinned, showing teeth. “Won’t scare ‘em if they don’t see me!” he said, heading for the door.

Red jumped to his feet, too. “I’ll come with! I need to drop this in the mail anyway.” He waved the ribbon-wrapped envelope, and followed Shadow out.

“Ribbon Day is one of my favorite holidays,” Red said as they walked. He bounced with every step, like an excited puppy.

“I think you’ve said that about every holiday we’ve celebrated since I got here.”

Red laughed. “Fair enough! But Ribbon Day is especially great.”

He paused, then sent Shadow a sly sideways look. “Soooo… you gonna get him a red ribbon?”

“I— what? For who?”

“For _Vio_ , silly,” Red said, as if this were incredibly obvious.

“That’s not— I mean, that’s ridiculous! You said red ribbons are for… And we’re not…”

Red watched Shadow flailing for words, his skeptical expression edging far too close to pity for Shadow’s liking. Shadow bristled.

“I’m going to go get breakfast,” Shadow grumbled, his ears folding back. He stalked away, heading for a shortcut through the castle courtyard. Red didn’t try to follow.

-

It was cold outside – not bitingly so, this close to spring, but still chiller than was comfortable. The earliest flowers of the year were clearly _thinking_ about starting to bud, but hadn’t quite committed to it yet. A light mist clung to Shadow’s skin and clothes and faded distant objects to blue-grey silhouettes.

Despite the weather, he wasn’t alone in the courtyard. Up ahead, a young man and a young woman in a chef’s apron stood under a gazebo. As Shadow approached, he could see their hands were wound together around a red ribbon as they kissed.

Shadow was struck with the sudden, vivid mental image of kissing Vio like that, fingers laced together and their breath warm between them in the cold air. He nearly stumbled. _Dammit Red, planting a seed like that…_

But he couldn’t deny the fluttery feeling in his chest at the thought.

He shook his head to clear it. He’d reached the kitchen, anyway – he could smell baking bread and feel the warmth of it. The heat of the oven fires meant they kept the doors open even in cold weather. Slipping inside unnoticed was simple enough, especially with his shadow-powers to help.

Shadow grabbed a loaf of bread from a cooling rack as he passed, then tucked himself into an out-of-the-way corner to eat. The bread was still warm from the oven, honey-sweet with a sprinkling of cheese baked onto the top.

In the kitchen around him, the cooks laughed and gossiped as they worked, voices rising and falling over the metal clatter of pans and the bubble of a boiling pot of soup.

“Is Ella _still_ out there?” one of them asked.

Someone peeked out the window to check. “Yes! She’s going to get in trouble if she keeps slacking off like this.” They sounded more amused than annoyed, though.

There was giggling. “She and her fellow just couldn’t wait for Ribbon Day, could they?”

One of the cooks dropped her voice to a conspiratorial hush. “Do you think we’ll be seeing a baby come next autumn?”

“They do call late-autumn babies ‘red ribbon babies’!”

Someone scoffed. “Well, my bedroom shares a wall with Ella’s, and _let me tell you…”_

Shortly thereafter, Shadow bolted for the door, hoping to escape before the conversation could get any more explicit.

Right. He’d forgotten the _other_ aspects of the sort of relationship a red ribbon implied.

He considered returning to the Links’ shared rooms, but he didn’t want to run into Red. Or Vio for that matter – he didn’t feel like he could meet Vio’s eyes right now without every detail of his conversation with Red showing on his face.

He found a deserted, out-of-the-way stairwell instead, and sat down to finish his breakfast. The bread seemed less enticing than it had before. He picked at it half-heartedly, wishing he’d thought to grab a cup of water, too. It was hard to swallow past the dryness of his throat.

The problem was, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that Red was _right_. He cared about Vio more than he had words to describe. He craved closeness to him, never passed up an opportunity to sling an arm over his shoulders or lean against him. Now that the thought of kissing Vio had gotten into his head, Shadow found he couldn’t shake it, nor the wistful sort of wanting that came with it. But the thought of anything further, of _sex_ … it still turned Shadow’s stomach, just as it always had.

And weren’t you supposed to want sex, when you were in love with someone?

_It’s because you’re a shadow._ The thought crept into his mind, taunting and bitter, and Shadow’s neck prickled as he recognized Vaati’s voice in it. _You’re a creature of darkness, corrupted at your heart. Whatever made you think someone like **you** would be capable of loving properly?_

Shadow leapt to his feet, causing the remainder of the bread loaf to roll off his lap and down the stairs. “Shut _up_!” he snarled aloud.

His voice echoed against the stone walls of the empty stairwell.

Shadow took a few deep, ragged breaths, willing his jaw to unclench. When he felt like he could move without punching something, he walked down to the landing where the half-eaten bread loaf had fallen and picked it up. He considered finishing it anyway – would have, if he’d had to – but he decided he wasn’t that desperate.

Instead, he went back out to the castle grounds, climbed up on the wall over the main gate, and started tossing down a few crumbs of bread to draw the attention of the local flock of cuccos. He rationed the bread sparingly, only dropping enough to keep the birds interested. He would wait until someone walked under the archway, then drop a whole handful of crumbs on their head and watch the ensuing chaos as they were swarmed by cuccos.

An amusing game, most of the time, though his heart wasn’t really in it today.

A blond-haired head passed by under the archway, and Shadow scattered a handful of crumbs before realizing – too late – who it was.

“Hey!” Green cried, swatting at his hair and clothes. An ambitious cucco leapt up to peck his ear, and Green yelped. He danced in place, trying to shake off both bread and birds.

Oops.

Shadow considered taking this as an opportunity for a head start, but fleeing would only prolong the inevitable. When Green escaped the cuccos and climbed the ladder to the top of the wall, Shadow was still sitting there, doing his best to look appropriately contrite. Which wasn’t easy, faced with the sight of Green with cucco feathers sticking out of his disarrayed hair.

Green held out a hand, and Shadow passed him what was left of the bread without complaint. There was less than a fist-sized chunk left, anyway. Green sat down beside him and started pulling the remaining bread apart into smaller pieces, then dropped it to the cuccos all at once.

“Any particular reason you’re up here bribing the livestock into causing trouble for you?” Green asked.

Shadow chewed the inside of his lip, thinking. “What is it supposed to feel like, when you love someone?”

Green seemed taken aback. “Well, it feels like caring about someone an awful lot. Wanting to prevent them from coming to harm.” He gave Shadow an odd, confused look. “But I’m pretty sure you already knew that.”

Below, the cuccos still pecked about hopefully, in case any more food happened to rain from the sky.

Shadow considered correcting Green, explaining that he meant _romantic_ love, red-ribbon love… He stayed quiet. He’d already spent what emotional openness he had in him for the day, thank you very much.

Green didn’t press for details, just sat there with him for a while longer in silence, in case Shadow changed his mind about talking.

They could see a good deal of the castle grounds from their vantage point atop the gate. Below, people bustled back and forth, preparing for the upcoming festival. A maid walked past with an armful of streamers, followed by a fluffy grey cat batting at the trailing ends. The cuccos scattered at the cat’s approach, but the cat was too distracted to care about the birds.

After several minutes, Green stood up. “No antagonizing the cuccos,” he said, using his ‘leader’ voice that sounded so much like his father. “Or using the cuccos to antagonize people. If I catch you causing trouble again today, I’ll put you on stable-shoveling duty to keep you busy.” He paused long enough for Shadow to wrinkle his nose and nod grudging agreement, then added in his normal voice, “Please tell me you at least got Blue, too?”

That got a snicker out of Shadow. “’Fraid not. He didn’t walk by.”

Green heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Perhaps it’s for the best. If that happened and I didn’t get to see it, I’d be very disappointed.”

He gave Shadow a friendly clap on the shoulder, then climbed back down the wall.

-

Perhaps it was too awkward to question Green about romantic love, but Shadow knew where he could find the answer. The same place Vio always went when he needed answers: the castle library.

But when Shadow poked his head around the door of the large, high-ceilinged room, he realized a flaw in his plan: Vio was already there. He was sitting at desk near one of the tall windows, looking down at a sheet of note paper with a slight frown of concentration. Light streamed through the window behind him, casting him in a golden halo glow.

Shadow’s heart thudded in his chest. He ducked back out the door.

Normally, Shadow loved being in the library with Vio. They’d spent many hours there, talking or reading together, or just sharing companionable silence while they each did their own thing. But the subject Shadow needed to research now… No, he absolutely could not do that while Vio was in the same room.

But when Shadow checked back an hour later, Vio was still there. The sun in the window had sunk lower, and the pile of notes on the table had grown taller, but nothing else had changed. It continued like this for the rest of the day. Whatever research project Vio had become embroiled in, it kept him there right up until the librarian came by to lock up for the night.

-

The next morning at breakfast, Shadow poked at his scrambled eggs and wondered if he’d have to break in to the library during off-hours just to get a shot at it without Vio being there. Even sitting next to Shadow at the breakfast table, Vio _still_ had his nose in that book, scribbling away at his notes. Shadow reached over and stole a strip of bacon right off Vio’s plate. Vio didn’t so much as blink.

What was he even reading about? Shadow glanced sideways, trying to read over Vio’s shoulder without being too obvious about it, but the angle was too awkward and the text too small for him to decipher from just a quick look.

He was distracted from his endeavor by Princess Zelda sitting down at their table, between Red and Green. She was dressed for archery, wearing bracers instead of her usual silk gloves, with her red hair pulled back in a braid. As soon as they all finished exchanging a brief round of “good mornings”, she turned to Vio.

“You’ll be participating in the archery tournament tomorrow, yes?” she asked.

Vio looked up from his notes with a slight startled jump that made it clear he’d only been listening with half an ear, and being addressed directly had caught him off-guard. “Yes?”

“Excellent!” The princess clapped her hands together. “Care to come and practice with me after breakfast? I _refuse_ to embarrass myself by being rusty tomorrow.”

Vio hesitated only a fraction of a second before nodding. “Of course, Zelda. Though I doubt you’d embarrass yourself, regardless.”

Zelda beamed at him.

Red leaned over the table to talk to Green and Blue. “Which of you d’you think will do better at the carnival games tomorrow?”

“Me, of course!” they both said in unison. While the two of them descended into playful squabbling, Zelda gave Red an amused look.

“You just want them to win a stuffed animal for you, don’t you?”

“Guilty as charged!” said Red, looking smugly cheerful and not at all guilty.

After breakfast, Zelda and Vio left for the archery field, and Shadow had the opportunity he’d been waiting for.

As he stepped into the library, it occurred to Shadow that he’d never been here without Vio before. It felt different by himself, not quite right. The already-large room seemed even bigger than usual, cold and empty and quiet. Shadow hummed, some half-remembered tune, trying to fill the silence as he skimmed his fingertips across the shelves.

With all the time he’d spent here with Vio, he’d learned the library’s organization system fairly well. The section he was looking for now wasn’t one he’d frequented before, but he didn’t know where else to look: romance novels.

He picked one at random and sat down on the floor to read. Pages fluttered as he leafed through them, looking for a section that seemed to describe the protagonist’s feelings for her beloved. The writing was flowery, full of convoluted metaphors that Shadow could only puzzle out about half the time. Shadow frowned down at the page. He was _fairly_ sure that “cerulean orbs” was meant to refer to the protagonist’s eyes. But then again, perhaps she was a mage of some kind and the orbs were magic crystals?

In several places, he got the feeling that innuendo was being made, but couldn’t work out what it _was_ , and trying to do so only made his head hurt. Shadow put the book back and started looking for another. Maybe one with a male protagonist? 

The next book described feelings like fire, burning through the veins and centered low in the gut. Shadow tried to think back to earlier days, to the Fire Temple, where this had all began. He remembered giddy, bubbling joy – or had that just been the fruit juice? He’d been practically light-headed with it, as if Vio’s presence itself was intoxicating.

_Fire_ on the other hand… that had come later, and it hadn’t been pleasant. Fire had been rage and tears burning in his throat, betrayal like a gaping chasm. Somehow he didn’t think that was what the book was describing.

Nowadays being around Vio didn’t feel like fire _or_ like being drunk. It felt more like being in the eye of a storm – a small pocket of calm and peace, no matter how loud or bright the rest of the world could be.

He flipped through a few more pages of the book, but it didn’t get any more relatable.

The next book seemed promising at first. Shadow read two pages of it, then flung it away from himself with a vengeance. It landed face-down, with the spine pulled open and the pages squashed against the ground. Shadow felt a twinge of guilt. Vio wouldn’t approve— but no, actually, he felt Vio would understand. That particular book was _stupid_.

Shadow leaned back against the bookshelf, pulling his knees up to his chest and crossing his arms over them. Every book he’d tried, as different as they all were, had one thing in common: they all described sexual feelings. And if anything, Shadow was more certain now than ever that he didn’t experience those feelings.

_See?_ The taunting thought-voice had returned. _You’re not like them. You’re broken. **Defective**._

Shadow’s ears tipped back, and he clenched his fists until his nails dug into his palms.

_It’s only to be expected. What could a monster know of love?_

Shadow stood and paced up and down the aisle a few times. There had to be at least an hour left until Vio would return, but Shadow didn’t have it in him to continue reading. It would be pointless anyway. Much as he hated it, he had the answer he’d come looking for.

He picked up the book he’d thrown, and was immediately tempted to throw it again, just to have thrown _something_. His blood thrummed with restless, angry energy.

He restrained himself enough to put the book back on the shelf, then left the library and headed for the knights’ training field.

There weren’t many people in the field when he arrived. Artura had a group of young squires going through basic fencing stances, but that was all. They gave Shadow a brief wave of greeting, but didn’t try to speak to him or approach him. Good. Shadow didn’t think he was capable of having a polite conversation just now.

He went directly to a padded training dummy and slammed his elbow into it hard enough to send it rocking back on its weighted base. When it swayed back up, he met it with a palm strike. He continued to pummel the dummy with elbows, fists, and feet, channeling hurt and anger and flinging it out in the form of violence.

He imagined the head of the dummy as Vaati’s dumb, smug eyeball, and what he’d intended to be a punch turned into a clawed-hand strike that shredded the canvas surface of the dummy. Shadow stumbled back, breathing hard. Sweat stung his eyes – sweat, he told himself, not tears – and he wiped at his face with the back of a hand.

Someone started clapping, and Shadow looked up to see Blue standing several paces away. He carried two wooden training swords tucked under one of his arms.

Now that Shadow had stopped attacking, Blue approached and examined the shredded training dummy. “Man, between your anger issues and mine, we go through these things like crazy. I think I can probably patch this up though, no need for a new one quite yet.”

He turned back to Shadow, frowning dubiously. “This the part where I’m supposed to ask you if you want to talk about what’s wrong?”

Shadow gave him an incredulous look. “I’d really rather you didn’t.”

Blue slumped in obvious relief. “Thank the Goddesses. So, you want to spar?” He held up one of the practice swords.

“Sure.” Shadow could feel himself starting to grin as he raised a hand to catch the sword Blue tossed to him.

“Just do some proper warm-ups first,” Blue cautioned. “I know you didn’t before demolishing that dummy, and I don’t want to hear the lecture Green would give if one of us got an easily-preventable training injury.”

The sparring helped, giving Shadow somewhere to channel his energy and something else to focus on. Blue was a _good_ fighter, much as Shadow was never, ever going to tell him that to his face. It took concentration for Shadow to hold his own, especially without using his shadow powers.

Well. Without getting _caught_ using them, anyway.

-

When Shadow returned to the Links’ shared quarters that night, Vio, Green, and Blue were playing a card game, while Red fidgeted with something in the mass of craft supplies that still littered the table.

Shadow dropped onto the couch next to Vio, leaning into his side. They’d sat like this countless times before – it felt so natural Shadow had done it without thinking – but this time he found himself bracing for some sign of discomfort or rejection from Vio.

It didn’t happen. Vio shifted so that his arm was draped across Shadow’s shoulders instead of being pinned awkwardly between them, Green passed Shadow a hand of cards, and they continued without comment.

Several rounds of the game later, Shadow tossed the ace of clubs onto the table, and Blue frowned.

“Hang on a minute,” he said. “I played the ace of clubs two turns ago. It should still be in the discard pile.” He gave Shadow a suspicious look.

“Well I couldn’t very well use the ace of _diamonds_ ,” Shadow huffed. “Vio’s had it tucked up his sleeve for the past five minutes.”

“Hey, don’t sell me out!” Vio complained. At some point during the game, his arm had slipped from Shadow’s shoulders to his waist – giving him the perfect angle to poke Shadow in the ribs.

Blue made indignant noises, and Green clapped him on the shoulder, laughing. “You should know better than to play cards with those two if you don’t want _creative_ interpretations of the rules!”

Before grumbling could escalate into an argument, Red interrupted by dumping a pile of ribbons on the table.

“We need to be ready for Ribbon Day tomorrow!” Red said, passing them each a bundle of narrow yellow and blue ribbons. “I thought it’d be nice if we take turns braiding them – that way we’ll each have something we all worked on together.”

Yellow for friends, blue for family. Shadow couldn’t help smiling a little as he looked down at the ribbons.

“Someone’s going to have to show me what I’m supposed to be doing here,” Shadow said. “This is more string than I know what to do with.”

Red leaned forward to point at the ribbons Shadow held. “First, take these two pieces and cross them, like this…”

Shadow settled back into the warmth of Vio’s side, following Red’s instructions and listening to the others’ quiet conversation. 

-

Ribbon Day dawned no warmer than the days preceding it, but at least significantly drier. The chilly grey mist had given way to clear blue skies, with only the occasional wisp of white cloud, as if the sky itself were joining in the holiday spirit.

The castle gates had been thrown wide open. Throngs of festival-goers wandered freely between the castle grounds and the streets of Castle Town. In the fields between, booths seemed to have sprouted overnight like wildflowers, all bright colors and fluttering streamers. Their proprietors shouted cheerfully, advertising games of skill and chance, or last-minute gifts and ribbons, or festival food. The air was full of the scent of an especially popular pastry, made in the shape of ribbons for the holiday.

There wasn’t a person in sight without at least one ribbon. Doe-eyed couples walked hand-in hand, bedecked in romantic red. Groups of similar-looking children shouted and played, their arms wrapped in the blue of family. Store owners proudly displayed green to signify their successful business partnerships. Argumentative neighbors exchanged truce-grey. Yellow friendship ribbons were everywhere.

Red had done his best to wake them all early for the festival. Shadow had been the only one to successfully resist, which earned him a few more hours of precious sleep, but also meant he’d missed the others leaving. Fortunately, the archery contest would be starting soon, and Shadow knew they’d all be there, so he made his way towards the tournament field.

A natural hillside, lined with benches, sloped down to a flattened field where the tournaments were being held. Fabric awnings had been set up to protect the viewers from rain, though with the change in the weather they had become sun-shades instead.

It was a crowded part of the festival. The archery competition seemed likely to be especially popular, since both the princess of the land and one of the heroes participating.

Vio was busy helping a few other knights set up the archery targets, so Shadow had to content himself with shouting “good luck!” across the field. Vio looked up when he heard and waved in return.

Zelda stood near the edge of the field, surrounded by a crowd of festival-goers eager to meet their princess. She had forgone her royal crown for the day in favor of a wreath of ribbons – yellow from friends, blue from family, green from political allies, and even a single strand of red that was sure to make rumors fly. She smiled and waved when she caught sight of Shadow, and the throng of people around her parted to let the princess speak to her friend.

“Good luck today, Zelda,” he said. He pulled out the yellow ribbon he’d been carrying in his sleeve and presented it to her.

She took the ribbon and added it to her already-elaborate wreath. Then she produced a yellow ribbon of her own that had been tucked into her archery quiver and handed it to him. “You had better be wishing me more luck than you are Vio,” she said, her grin turning cheeky. “I know you like him best, but after we practiced together yesterday I’m afraid to say I’m confident I need the luck more. He doesn’t need any extra help.” She gave a put-upon sigh, but the laughter in her eyes showed her true feelings on the matter.

He took the offered ribbon, tying it to his wrist with the others. “Then I’ll wish you the _best_ of luck.”

Shadow noticed a small girl standing nearby, holding a toy bow and arrow, shifting back and for from foot to foot. The child was clearly desperate to speak to the princess, but too polite to interrupt. “I won’t keep you from your adoring fans any longer,” Shadow said.

“And I won’t keep you from your spot in the stands! Red has been trying to get your attention for a while now.” She pointed over his shoulder, and Shadow turned to see that, indeed, Red was seated under one of the cloth awnings with Blue and Green, waving both arms above his head. With a quick farewell to Zelda and another wave to Vio, Shadow went to join them.

We saved you a spot!” Red said, patting the bench beside him. “We’re gonna have the _best_ view from here.”

The crowd settled somewhat as people found places to sit. Out on the field, the knights finished setting up the last of the targets, and then, with the chiming of the hour, the competition began.

They started with a few dozen archers, but that number dwindled rapidly as each round increased the shooting distance and competitors were eliminated. Vio and Zelda both progressed without much difficulty, as Shadow had known they would. Finally, it came down to five archers, Vio and Zelda among them.

The final round had a twist unique to the ribbon day festival – they’d be shooting one at a time for this round, and in addition to increasing the shooting distance again, two knights came back out onto the field to set up a scaffolding framework between the archers and the target. Ribbons hung from the frame, nearly every color of the festival: all the common ones exchanged between festival-goers, and even the more uncommon ones, like the orange that was sometimes tied to trees as a thanks for the blessings of nature, or the purple that represented the unseen beings and spirits inhabiting Hyrule. Only black wasn’t present, its purpose as remembrance for the dead considered too solemn for the event.

It would be hard enough to aim past the shifting field of fabric, but the real prize was the bonus points awarded to those who managed to catch a ribbon on their arrow and pin it to the target.

The first archer to step up to the line – a knight a few years older than the Links – seemed disoriented by the movement of the ribbons, and her first shot went a little wide. She adjusted quickly, and her next two were much more accurate, but she didn’t catch any ribbons.

The next competitor got in two clean shots, then caught a grey ribbon, and a cheer went up in the stands. Grey wasn’t one of the higher point values, and the weight of the ribbon had pulled his arrow a little off-course, but he’d still made a respectable score.

The third pinned a yellow ribbon, and then it was Vio’s turn.

Red, Green, Blue, and Shadow cheered, along with a good portion of the rest of the crowd, as Vio stepped up to the line with his usual graceful composure. Vio took a deep breath – the rise and fall of his shoulders visible even from the stands – lifted his bow, nocked an arrow, and let it go.

His first shot flew straight through the field of ribbons and struck the center of the target, sending scatted applause through the crowd.

Vio lowered his bow, turned to look up at the hillside. He found the other Links – no doubt helped by Red’s enthusiastic waving – and for a moment his eyes met Shadow’s. Then he turned back to the target and drew his next arrow. This one arced high, catching the purple ribbon and pinning it to the target just shy of the middle ring.

The crowd roared encouragement. Even as he joined in the yelling, Shadow found himself oddly sentimental. Purple. The color for acknowledging the magical beings of Hyrule. Of course, it was only a coincidence. Purple was one of the highest value ribbons, points-wise, and it was Vio’s own signature color. Of course he’d aim for that one.

Then Vio’s final arrow pinned the red ribbon dead-center to the target, right under the purple one.

Shadow felt like he’d had the breath knocked out of him. He was barely conscious of the crowd rising to their feet around him, until Red pulling on his arm on one side and Green on the other brought him to his feet as well to join in the cheering. Shadow sought Vio’s eyes through the chaos, but Vio didn’t look at the stands as he went to retrieve his arrows and the ribbons he’d captured.

Eventually the onlookers settled back. A hush of whispered excitement filled the air, half appreciation for the impressive shooting they’d just seen, half anticipation for the last contestant, their princess. Shadow only half paid attention, too busy trying to talk himself out of reading too much into Vio’s shooting. It was a coincidence. It had to be. Both of those ribbons were worth a lot of points, it made _sense_ he’d aim for them. It didn’t _mean_ anything.

While Shadow mulled this over, the crowd around him cheered Zelda on as she scored well and caught an orange ribbon.

Shadow had mostly dissuaded his overactive imagination and tamped down the dizzy feeling by the time the rounds of shooting ended. After Zelda collected her arrows and the orange ribbon she’d pinned, all the competitors filed back onto the field to bow to the audience and shake hands with each other.

Vio, having scored the highest, was awarded first place, and all the finalists were allowed to keep any ribbons they caught during their round.

The stands once again became a slow-moving shuffle of people as everyone got up to leave. Shadow and the others made their way down to the field to congratulate their friends, but it was slow going considering how many people were moving to do the same.

As they waited their turn, Shadow noticed a cluster of six or so teenage girls, giggling and whispering, sending glances toward the archers. The girl in the center of the group twisted a pink ribbon nervously between her hands, blushing scarlet as her friends poked and teased her.

Come to think of it, Shadow had seen a pink ribbon among those in the final round, too, but he didn’t know the meaning of that color. “Hey Red.” He jostled Red’s elbow. “What’s pink for?”

“Huh?” Red followed his gaze to the group of girls. “Oh! Pink is for secret admirers. Tradition is that if you tie a pink ribbon to your crush’s doorknob, they’ll notice you.” Red laughed, then dropped his voice quieter so only Shadow would be able to hear him over the crowd. “Last year Blue and Green got in a fight over which of them more of the ones on our front door were meant for. No one could get all the way in to our rooms, of course, so it was pretty difficult to tell. Some people had enough foresight to write our names on them, and Blue was unbelievably smug that eight of them had his name and only seven had Green’s.”

Shadow started to snicker at the thought of the petty squabble, but then something occurred to him and he felt a cold weight in his stomach, like he’d swallowed a handful of snow. “You guys get a lot of pink ribbons, huh?”

Red faltered, realizing the implications of what he’d said. “Um. Well. Yeah!” His voice wavered a bit. “We are heroes and all. I guess it makes us kinda popular!”

Shadow wanted, urgently, to ask how many Vio got. He didn’t. He looked for the girls again, but they’d been lost in the crowd. Which archer had they been fawning over? Would one of them leave a ribbon on the heroes’ door? Would one of them write Vio’s name on it?

_He’d be better off._

Shadow nearly cursed aloud as the bitter, taunting thoughts resurfaced.

_Vio is one of the heroes of Hyrule. There are so many out there who’d happily be with him. And any one of them would be better for him than a demon from another world who can’t even love **properly**._

_Vio deserves a full, complete relationship. Not the pale imitation of one, with a pale imitation of a person._

Shadow stopped in his tracks. “No,” he growled under his breath. Red looked back at him in confusion, but Shadow ignored him. “No, I’m not listening to you. If nothing else, Vio deserves my honesty.”

In a louder voice, Shadow called out, “Don’t wait for me, I’ve got something to do!” He darted off before any of the others could reply.

Shadow wove through the crowd, ducking and dodging and not hesitating to use his elbows when applicable. He made his way out of the stands, angling for where he remembered seeing booths selling ribbons earlier. The press of people thinned out somewhat as he got further from the tournament field, and it wasn’t too long before he arrived, out of breath, at the booth he was looking for.

The woman managing the store looked a little alarmed to see Shadow run up suddenly out of nowhere, but she put on a polite smile anyway. “What can I help you with, sir?”

“That,” said Shadow, not feeling much up to words, but pointing to a length of silky-looking deep red ribbon to get his point across. He pushed a few rupees towards the woman.

Her smile slipped a little. Probably his look of pained determination wasn’t the expression she usually associated with people buying declarations of love. But rupees are rupees, so she took the money, handed him the ribbon, and wished him good day.

Feeling a little bad about being rude, Shadow did his best to smile in response before turning and running back the way he came.

The crowd at the tournament field had dispersed a little in the time Shadow had been gone, but only a little. It still took a bit of effort to make his way to the front, where he found Green, Red, and Blue talking with Zelda, but no sign of an archer in a purple tunic.

“Is Vio here?” Shadow asked.

The four of them jumped a little, surprised at his sudden reappearance.

Zelda’s eyes flicked down to the red ribbon in his hands, and comprehension dawned. “I’m afraid not,” she said. “You just missed him. He went back to your rooms to put his archery gear away.”

Shadow gave a little huff of frustration, but nodded and turned around once more to forge his way through the crowd.

When he got to their living quarters, he found the front door already adorned with several pink ribbons. His stomach dropped a little at the sight, but he resisted the urge to check them for names, and instead pushed through into the common area.

This part of the castle was quiet and dark, with everyone else out enjoying the festival. Shadow could hear his own footsteps as he crossed the room to stand in front of Vio’s closed bedroom door. He paused. The thought flitted across his mind that he could leave the ribbon on the doorknob and run. He rejected the idea almost at once. Shadow was many things, but he wasn’t a coward.

He lifted a hand to knock, but his knuckles had barely brushed the wood when the door swung open.

Vio blinked at him, surprised. “Shadow? What are you… oh!” His eyes widened at the sight of the red ribbon Shadow carried.

“Vio… I’ve got something I need to tell you.”

“So I can see.” Vio’s voice was quiet. He still looked a little shocked. “Would you like to sit down?”

Shadow nodded, and Vio moved aside to let him into the room. The window had a bench seat, and they sat down there, side-by-side. The comfortable, familiar setting steadied Shadow somewhat, though there was only so much it could do against the rising tide of nerves that threatened to overwhelm him.

For a long while, Shadow stared down at the ribbon in his hands in silence. Vio waited patiently, letting Shadow gather his thoughts, until…

“Is it possible to l-love someone romantically without wanting to have sex with them?” Shadow finally burst out, the words running together in his stumbling haste. Now that he’d started, he couldn’t seem to stop. “Because I really think I’m in love with you. You mean the most to me of anyone in the world, and I love being close to you, and I think I want to k… to kiss you. But I don’t… I’ve never wanted sex, not with anyone. And you deserve better than that, you deserve someone who’s not _broken_ and I—“

_“Shadow!_ ” Vio sounded horrified. Shadow’s already-nervous stomach twisted itself into further knots.

“You are _not_ broken,” Vio insisted.

“But I—“

“Wait here.” Vio got up, crossed the room to his desk, and picked up a book. Shadow watched him, confusion beginning to overpower sick terror within him.

Vio brought the book over and sat back down next to Shadow. Up close, Shadow recognized it as the same book Vio had been poring over the past couple days, and his confusion deepened. There were several loose sheets of paper stuck between the pages about a third of the way through. Vio opened the book to that point and removed the notes, then passed the book to Shadow, pointing out one passage in particular.

Shadow frowned down at the text. At first glance, it seemed much like any of the other scientific tomes from the library. The writing was small and dense, and academic enough to trip Shadow up in places, even though his reading had improved greatly in the time he’d spent in Hyrule, with Vio.

Still, now that he was able to study it more closely than the quick glance he’d taken at breakfast, he was able to piece it together.

The paragraph Vio had pointed to read:

> “It has been observed that a small subset of people lack the experience of sexual attraction altogether. Studies have uncovered no link or common factor between these non-sexual people, other than their lack of sexual attraction. As such, current theory holds that it is simply a normal, if uncommon, occurrence. A lack of attraction to any gender is just as natural as attraction to any gender or combination thereof.”

Shadow sat back, stunned. “I’m… not broken.”

“You are _not_ ,” Vio agreed vehemently. “And… you might want to read these as well.” He handed Shadow the loose notes that had been tucked between the pages.

Vio’s handwriting was unmistakable. So this was what he’d been putting so much time into writing lately? It seemed to be several attempts at a letter, each one having been covered in crossing-outs and margin notes before being rejected, and another attempt begun.

Shadow chose the most complete-looking and started reading.

> ~~My~~ Dear Shadow,
> 
> I think it’s no secret that I am deeply fond of you. For some time now, I have been aware that these feelings are of a romantic nature.
> 
> ~~But I fear~~ But it would be disingenuous of me to pursue such a relationship without first telling you this: the phenomenon described in this book, an innate lack of ability to feel sexual attraction, applies to me. I had wondered if such a thing might develop as the two of us grew closer, but in nearly two years, it seems it’s not to be.
> 
> Sexual feelings or no, the fact remains that I am ~~truly fond~~ in love with you. If you are still interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with me, even knowing it would be a sexless one, then ~~I would be honored~~
> 
> ~~you have my heart~~
> 
> ~~I would~~

It was there that the note trailed off into a frustrated scribble. Apparently, Vio had been unsure how to conclude.

Shadow couldn’t hold back a short laugh, which came out so choked it was nearly a sob. “You get so _formal_ when you’re nervous,” he teased.

Vio gave him a wry grin. “Well, I thought I was writing to tell the person I love something that might be a romantic deal breaker to him.”

“It’s not. Goddesses, Vi, this is the furthest thing from a deal breaker.”

Shadow was still holding the red ribbon he’d bought at the festival. Closing Vio’s book and setting it aside, Shadow turned so he was facing Vio more directly and held the ribbon out to him. Rather than take it, Vio held out his own wrist, so that Shadow could tie the ribbon around it. He did so, his hands shaking a little from the lingering effects of the emotional gamut he’d just run.

Then Vio lifted his other hand and offered Shadow the red and purple ribbons he’d won during the archery contest. Affection warm in his chest, Shadow held out his arm for to Vio tie the ribbons to. Vio deliberately wound them in such a way that the arrow holes would show. Thinking back to the moment during the contest when Vio’s eyes had met his, Shadow realized that Vio really _had_ chosen those two ribbons on purpose. The fact that they had been won _for_ Shadow made the gift that much more precious.

As soon as the ribbons were secure, Shadow wrapped Vio in a hug and buried his face against Vio’s shoulder. When Vio returned the hug, it felt like something being set right in the world, some puzzle piece that had been ever so slightly off-kilter finally falling into its proper place.

They pulled back, just far enough to look each other in the eye. Vio tilted his forehead against Shadow’s and lifted one hand to cradle the side of Shadow’s face. Shadow leaned into the warmth of the touch, savoring it. He was still trying to get his head around the fact that he could _have_ this. That Vio wanted this too, the same way he did, and wouldn’t be expecting more than Shadow could give.

He said as much, and Vio’s expression was a mix of amusement and sadness at the irony of it. “I’ve been worrying about this for some time,” Vio said, his voice soft. Close as they were, there was no need to speak louder. “That you’d be disappointed, or upset.”

“I was in denial until two days ago, but I think I’ve done more than enough worrying since then to make up for my late start.”

“We may be a pair of idiots for worrying and pining, when we could have had this all the sooner if we’d just spoken about it.” Vio brushed his fingers through Shadow’s hair. “But at least we’re a matching pair.”

“We always have been,” Shadow replied.

They stayed like that for a long moment, foreheads together, breathing together. Then Vio spoke again.

“You said something earlier, about wanting to kiss me?”

Shadow gave a startled little laugh. “Yeah. I did.”

When they pressed their lips together in their first kiss, they were both smiling.


End file.
